Dad Sofa

I'm Gonna do the Ironman

Episode Summary

A Stream of Consciousness about the Ironman race. There is a parallel with lots of other things in life.

Episode Notes

Ironman Ironman I’m gonna do the Ironman

 

The bonkers race, all over the globe, the thousands training,

The Periodisation, the 10% increase, the coaching, the fueling 

Whether or not you’re moving 

its snowing or it’s raining.

The 4am get up, I’m in training.

The pick up, The kit, The pack, the club, the inspiration

Representing your nation

 

Ironman Ironman I’m gonna do the Ironman

 

The travel, the bike bag, the big list to pack

The id, the waiver, 

or niggle in the back

I’m feeling tired cos of taper, 

The stress of the airport, the baggage reclaim, 

finding me bike, 

diagnosing the foreign train 

Where’s the hotel, the expo, the finish line clock

I Imagine the bliss

I’ve gotta get there I spent 30 weeks training for this

The water,the bike course, the run route the start 

I am surrounded by physical specimens, they all look the part

 

Ironman Ironman I’m gonna do the Ironman

 

The bravado, the fear, the pre race Brief

A breakfast with Paula Newby Fraser

A dream beyond belief

The clank of the scaffold, the tarpaulin flap, the sound check

the wind, the smells, the tastes….

I’m drinking coffee in Klagenfurt, Freezing ice cream in Frankfurt

Pasta in Lanzarote in the Heat 

or in the cold of Haugusund a cinnamon cake makes me repleat

The pre race food, decrease fibre, increase carb

The drop in caffeine, im being too fickle

Don’t eat too much, don’t eat to little

Check your bike in, check your bags in, white blue and red

Don’t mix them up their content being critical, this is doin me head

 

Ironman Ironman I’m gonna do the Ironman

 

Settling to doze, it’s 9 at night 

The race is 10 hours off, sleep tight

I awake at 3, feel for my drink, 

Then dress, go to the loo and check my kit

Down to breakfast to watch the Farce 

Iron warriors, their rigid habits, does it matter

The Fueling dance

Bananas, honey, cereal, white bread

Yoghurt or Juice; not too much 

The caffeine buzz to brighen the head.

Each to their own, what’s your daily bread.

I Queue for a bus, am I booked on it

or walk tired through the streets

white street bag and wetsuit, getting ready to don it

I am on my way 

no turning back

An inspirational track

Zoning out listening to music

But I feel my heart starting to beat

Walking among the throngs in the dark dark street

 

Ironman Ironman I’m gonna do the Ironman

 

Approaching transition I hear the PA

The noise of the athletes mumbling away

The headtorches at 5.30 am

The sound of bike tyres being pumped and a groggy yawn

In the hope that the pressure will speed you along

The queues for the toilet, final bike check, 

loading it with nutrition, Ah what the heck

I help an athlete do his zip, easy with so many acts of good will.

Let’s get my wetsuit on, in the morning chill

I work to stop chafing by putting on neck glide,

I see the athlete I helped

We look at each other smile, the exhilaration we cannot hide

 

Ironman Ironman I’m gonna do the Ironman

 

So to the start and we are packed together

1000s of us like penguins

but not standing on ice, between the toes just the feeling of sand or wet grass, nice

The PA, the 10s of thousands of spectators, wow what a roar

The national anthem

Our hearts in our chests or even our mouths, what more can you ask for.

7am, The siren goes and we run, run, as fast as we can like the race is 17seconds not 17 hours

I feel the water reach to my waste, dive in

I’m away… at last just my thoughts, the bar fight and my haste.

 

Ironman Ironman I’m gonna do the Ironman

 

The rhythm of swim, the sighting, the pace

The pleasure of feeling at one in your space

The Australian exit, then back in without time to thaw

I don’t want it to end, round again once more

As the swim comes to an end, 

The distant cheer

The crowd comes into muffled swimcapped ear

And its up on my feet, to transition

To check on the weather, what do we have here?

The heat of the canaries, the rain and lightening of Norway or the Gales in Wales

Whatever it is…. 

 

Ironman Ironman I’m gonna do the Ironman

 

So onto the bike and into a spin

Athletes fall off, burst tyres as I try to settle in

The roads are a mix of asphalt, cobbles, tramlines

Hills, some with heat and some with wet slippy spills

The rear wheel slips as you Hit the hill at 100 miles

The sight of a country

You’ve never been in, the marshalls the drafters, the penalty bin.

Or the Wrestlers in Bolton, cheering you on, for an hour my face is one big grin.

Then I feel a bee sting on my leg

As we get to the end I feel sweat drip 

from inside my helmet and onto my lip

The legs are tired; I get to the end and drop off the bike, helped by the ironman crew, 

in a maze , The scaffolding we call T2

Then the duck waddle starts

Just trying not to think of the marathon ahead.  What goes?

A chance to run on the route with the pros.

 

Ironman Ironman I’m gonna do the Ironman

 

On the run what’s your habit?

Run walk or run run or just eat crisps

Energy gels with salt or carb or caffeine

Or oranges, flat coke or Sandwiches by Greggs

Whether heat or rain, the supporters remain

They’re the real stalwarts, the hard ones

There for you to sustain

The second half of the run is tough enough,

The cage fight, kept light by the kids who high five

I am running out of energy

But the dream’s alive.

Treadwatering sea turtles Kona, big island, where the spirits thrive.

 

Ironman Ironman I’m gonna do the Ironman

 

To the last mile, for some its dark again

it’s getting late right?

Remember the cut off 12 midnight 

The finish shute

Red carpet, the shout “you are an ironman’

The medal the food tent the t-shirt

The cheers and excitement

The realisation of hurt, the soreness the worn out shoe

Wondering did I bite off more than I can chew.

Out to support the people still racing

The Shouts of elation and Fireworks and family embracing.

So what next, there’s always next year

It’s never complete, not a race, it’s a way of life

Another race, another Ironman, another Ironwoman

 

Ironman Ironman I’m gonna do the Ironman